We Found Love In a Nail Salon

Have you ever been to a first date to a nail salon? Ya, me neither, but I definitely witnessed that happen last night. It started off completely different than it ended up. It started when a guy walked into Juko around 8pm and asked if there was time for a manicure. It was nearly empty in the place so Zach, the salon manager, had no choice but to tell him yes and told him which chair to sit in. The confident/cocky dude proceeded make it loud and clear that it wasn't for him, but for his 'wifey' who was parking the car. A few minutes later 'wifey' strutted in the door and popped a squat 2 chairs away from me. I tried to focus on the movie that was playing straight ahead and not focus on the awkward comments he kept whispering loudly saying to his eye candy. 

Nothing says romantic like a guy telling his wifey to pick out a nail polish color as sexy as she is... and yes, he actually said that. Melts my heart. My guess is that she picked OPI's 'Do You Think I'm Texy'. I went with Roadhouse Blues(balls). That's what I'm thinking ended up happening to him by the end of last night. Anywho, she picked a few sexy colors and let him choose the winner... how presh! They were served a glass of white wine and her manicure got underway. I continued to focus on the movie that had just started... "Something Borrow". I've never seen it, so I was fully engaged in what was happening on the tube and trying to avoid the catastrophe to my left. 

It was not until I clearly heard homeboy ask his wifey when she had her last good kiss. I couldn't help but perk up when he asked this. NOT because I was interested, but because I was confused beyond belief. Why would he ask his wifey such a dumb fucking question... well friends, it's cause she was not his wifey. In fact, she was far from it. They were on a first date. I'm not sure if I was just too stunned by the growing awkwardness of what was happening or just didn't hear her response, but next thing I know is I looked out of the corner of my eye and there was a full fledge makeout in progress. WHO DOES THAT? If you do that or have ever done that, please don't tell me because you will get judged... harshly. Couldn't have waited 15 more minutes til you got to the car? I was astonished... and completely lost from what was happening in the movie at that point. I was beyond mortified for the poor girl who was doing her nails... she was just about ready to go home for the night when wifey and homeboy waltzed in at 8pm for a makeout manicure sesh. Hope she got a great spit... I mean tip. 

Simple rule: If you want to get a manicure, don't interrupt with a makeout. If you want to makeout, don't come in for a manicure. 

Word to the wise for the future tall, dark, and handsome that walks into my life... if you call me 'wifey' and/or take me to get a manicure on our first date don't even consider calling for a second date. Grow some balls, have some manners, and be a gentleman. Not hard.  

take it or leave it: A few festive words to live by...