D.I.Y. - Nerd Alert

I've stated in previous blog that I am no Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker. I can cook and bake, but when it comes to doing anything creative - painting, sewing, etc., I have the capabilities of a 5 year old. Pinterest has intrigued me to dabble a little more than I ever thought I would, and it turns out that it’s not the worst thing in the world. I typically pay for the convenience of things, so the thought of making my own Halloween costume was slightly frightening. In fact, I thought I would push most of the work off onto my dear friend Meg, who happens to love DIY and just so happened to be doing a costume with me. Sucka! Yea, not the case! I worked my ass off on that thing, as did Meg, and the result was amazeballs! Compliments up the wazoo AND winner of the DIY Costume Contest at the Halloween party.

The compliments that we received almost made it seem like people did not think I was capable of such a thing… granted, I didn’t think I was either, but it became quite apparent that there was some shock and awe from my friends and family. We spent a total of 10-12 hours working on this costume, and I must say that while we were in the process of making it, I wanted to say fuck it and run to the nearest costume store, but I held out. I'm so glad I did because the final product was nothing short of fantastic! Realistically, did I think being a box of Nerds (classic strawberry & grape) and actual nerds would be worth it, no. I was wrong. Dead wrong and I'm happy to admit that now. 

There was a total of 5 costume categories - Best Overall, Funniest, DIY, Couple, and Most Creative -  and while someone <cough Meg cough> voted for us for FOUR of the five (true story) categories we walked away with one victory! I think it would have been a little embarrassing to walk away with so many wins... wouldn't have wanted anyone else to feel like we stole the show (even though we absolutely did)! Kidding! There were some great costumes this year & I'm just happy to won one of the categories. Go team Nerds!  

I know the question you're all wondering is will I be doing another DIY costume next year... well, the answer is fuck if I know. I think I'm still high from the paint and the permanent marker that we used, so maybe once I come down from that I'll be able to make the right decision. We shall see. 

The costume reveal...

PS - we all know how much I despise hair, so please know that, yes, I was 150% miserable wearing that wig all night. Although, I was told that I looked damn good with pink hair. Something to consider... ;)

take it or leave it: Tomorrow is November 1st. Onto the next holiday Thanksgiving, which for me really only means that Christmas is getting closer! I love Christmas... perhaps more than most. I am perfectly ok with admitting it and taking all the shit from people who just don't get it. To each their own, right? Since the holiday season kicks off really soon I would like to make a recommendation. A classic flick... Home Alone. Yes, another children's movie recommendation from a 26 year old. Deal with it. If you do not enjoy this wonderful movie I sorta feel sorry for you. This movie is my childhood and Christmas all wrapped up into one. The house that it takes place in is up for sale... just a few million dollars and a few towns away. I've seriously considered how I could make that happen, that's how much I love this movie. Watch it... and keep the change ya filthy animal!

Happy 'Ween

Halloween weekend is upon us!! Let the crazy costumes come out, the candy eaten, and the booze consumed! This is definitely one of my favorite holidays of the year… 3^rd to Christmas and Thanksgiving. I think a lot of this has to do with how into the holidays my family gets. We didn’t just carve pumpkins and put them out on the stoop for decoration. We had life size coffins with skeletons sticking out of them, fog machines, skulls scattered through the yard, motion censored hands sticking out of the ground, and of course, scary Halloween tunes. My dad still gets the biggest kick out of the trick-or-treaters coming by for candy and getting scared from the fake hands and scary music.

We go over the top when it comes to holidays so there’s always a lot of anticipation that builds up for them. This year, like last year, my friends and I are heading up to Michigan to go to our friends parent’s annual Halloween party. It’s the real deal. The house is decorated like a haunted house, the host & hostess dress up like haunted mansion characters from the Disney ride, and everyone comes decked out in their finest costumes. And honestly, who wouldn’t when there’s a costume contest to win?! Last year we did a group costume… Tiger Woods, his ex-wife, and his whores. I was one of the whores (yippee). Naturally, we won best group costume!

This year we’re not doing any group costume… every (wo)man or couple for themselves. I think I’ve got this one in the bag. I’m shooting for another win this year and for as much work as I’ve put into this costume, I fucking deserve it. Seriously, what the hell was I thinking going for a DIY costume. I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m no Martha Stewart, yet I decided I would be overambitious and make my costume. Never again. Let’s just hope this pays off and I get to taste sweet, sweet victory again! I’ll post pictures next week!  

Enjoy your Halloween weekend and watch out for razorblades in your candy! There’s weirdos out there that actually do that. #Ijustdontgetit

take it or leave it: I am not a fan of scary movies… not even a little bit. I’ve been forced to watch 5.5 scary movies in my life and I was completely miserable during them. Well, except for one. Saw, The Ring, Halloween 1 and 2, and Paranormal Activity. I’ve also seen Carrie, but laughed my way through the ridiculousness of that one. Hearing everyone chant “They’re all going to laugh at you” is much funnier than it is scary. The .5 would be for Paranormal Activity. I could not do it. I tried to take a light-hearted approach and repeatedly tell myself that this was fake, but the movie won and I had to be done with it. Needless to say I will not be seeing the other 2 Paranormal Activity movies… fake or not, that shit is SCARY!

When sharks attack...

Confession: I would rather see a human get hurt than see an animal get hurt… or killed for that matter. I realize this sounds a little sick and twisted, but I cannot help it. I have good reason to back this all up, so before you get your undies in a bunch please sit back and delve into this gear grinding topic…

I have a really hard time hearing stories on the news of bears being killed after attacking some people camping in the middle of nowhere. We are in their territory, on their land and yet the bear ultimately suffers for it. In case you didn’t know, bears and other wildlife have to hunt for their food… so when some stupid people trying to take on the wilderness have food that a bear can find, they’re going to attack. I can’t help but not feel bad for the people who were camping because they’re the ones that took the risk to set out and camp with the bears. Idiot humans.

And with that… how is it fair for humans to step foot into the ocean where sharks inhabit and not expect to get their leg chomped off? It’s the risk humans take when their feet hit the water, not the fault of the shark for living in it. I have a hard time watching shark week after seeing a seal getting mangled by a great white, but I have seen a few documentaries with shark attack survivors. Whether they were surfing or swimming they ended up losing something to a shark attack, and in certain situations the shark was killed for it. While I’m not a huge fan of sharks, I find it really disturbing that they’re being killed for living their life in the water and hunting for food. I’ve been into the ocean countless times and have obviously taken the risk myself, but I would never want a shark killed for ripping my arm off. I’m in their territory and it’s the risk I take.  

And then there’s road kill. Raise your hand if you’re guilty of it. I am, and I still have a vivid memory of both times that it happened. Yes, I’ve turned a happy go lucky critter into dead meat on more than one occasion. I still feel guilty to this day. The first time was on my 17^th Birthday and I was going to meet up with the soccer team to go tanning together (yes, we actually did that). It was sunny, I was rocking out to some tunes, feeling great that it was my Birthday, and WHACK. Before I could swerve or slam on the breaks there was a squirrel under my tire. With the hopes that I somehow missed it I decided to look into the rear view mirror. Note to self, if you’re anything like me, NEVER look in the rear view mirror to see if you’ve killed the furry critter. The poor squirrel was done for, but his wittle tail was just flapping back and forth. I started crying. I killed a squirrel on my Birthday and ruined my morning. #fail

The 2^nd road kill incident was probably worse, although I still cannot say for sure whether or not Ricky Raccoon actually turned into dead meat. Here’s what happened… I was home one weekend in college and was headed to meet up with some friends. I took a right out of the neighborhood and no more than 5 seconds went by and I see not one, but two raccoons chasing each other across the street and THUD. The first one got across unharmed, but I definitely got the 2^nd one. I started crying (it’s what I do). I made up a story in my head that these 2 raccoons were just hanging out having some fun, chasing one another and I ended that game real quick. The first raccoon probably turned around wondering where his friend was… Just awful. I called my friend crying and explained what happened and she laughed at me. Didn’t help the situation at all. I’m a murderer and she was laughing at me. #biggerfail

These animals are helpless creatures trying to survive in a world that was once all theirs, and is now overloaded with humans doing stupid shit – camping in the middle of nowhere, surfing in shark infested waters, and even driving like a badass.  

take it or leave it: Is it too soon to start listening to Christmas music? I think not. I know people <ahem, dad> that have been listening and humming holiday jingles since June. I can't help but start getting in the holiday spirit... It's almost November, after all. You can't tell me you don't enjoy singing along to Mariah Carey's 'All I Want For Christmas'! Seriously, it's a classic. Don't hate on it... just join in on the tunes and have yourself a merry little Christmas! 

Germs make me squirm

Germs. They’re everywhere. They’re gross. They’re in season. I am what one would call a germaphobe. As read from Urban Dictionary... Germaphobe. Yep, germaphobe party of 1 right here! I have no problem whipping out the anti-bacterial gel or washing my hands 50 times a day. I don’t want your dirty hands, nasty coughing, and sneezing germs all up in my business. That shit is nasty.

I realize that it is inevitable working in an office, being out and about with the public, and living a normal life increases my odds of getting sick and encountering endless germs, but the least I can do is slather on the gel and not touch door handles with my hands to try and prevent it as much as I can. Do I flush toilets in public bathrooms with my feet… absolutely. Do I use paper towels to open doors… better believe it. And 9 times out of 10 I will slather on more gel after using a shopping cart, touching a menu, or paying with cash. Seriously, do you have any idea how nasty money and coins are? Oh my gosh, it’s so gross. If I could get away with wearing a glove anytime I had to touch cash I would.

I’m sure this whole germaphobe thing goes hand in hand with some of my OCD tendencies, but I don’t really card. I am a sterile, clean, neat freak, and I am proud! I heard on the radio this morning (props to Eric & Kathy) that 1 in 4 cell phones has feces residue on them because people bring their cell phones into the bathroom with them. That’s straight up fucking gross. Do your phone a favor and keep it feces free.

Germs are germs… we all pass them around. I just don’t get why more people don’t take the preventative measures to make sure they’re minimalizing the germs they’re spreading. It’s not hard to do. I sit here writing this as a co-worker hacks up a lung in the distance and I am mortified (and silently freaking out that I’m going to get sick). Do I need a SARS mask? Is that what this world is coming to? Wash your hands, cover your mouth when you cough, your nose when you sneeze, and for fuck sake leave your cell phones out of the bathroom!

 

take it or leave it: Winner, winner chicken dinner! That’s right… 1^st annual pumpkin carving contest CHAMPION! Sweet, sweet victory! The funniest part is that I literally thought I had ZERO chance of winning. I went for the classic jack-o-lantern with some added twists. Started off by picking out a big lovely pumpkin that looked tie-dyed with green and orange. I’ve never picked a pumpkin with green on it before, but it just felt right. Between the funny face, spiral nose, white baby pumpkin ears I pulled off the win and stole the potential for Megan to get the fall triple crown (apple pie champ, carving champ, and costume champ). Sorry pal! Maybe you’ll go 2 for 3 after this weekend!

All Hallows' Eve

October... such a fan-flipping-tastic month! Leaves are changing colors and crisp fall air is upon us. At least we can hope that's the case. Whether you luck out with the weather or not, there is one thing everyone gets lucky with in October. Halloween. All Hallows' eve. October 31st. Are you picking up what I'm throwing down here? It is such a fantastic holiday. One that everyone can join in on the fun and act like a big kid and dress up in a crazy costume, carve a pumpkin, watch scary movies, and go to a haunted house. I purposely left trick or treating off of that list because I no longer participate in that event, although I totes would if I thought people would take me seriously and actually give me some sugar (Skittles or Starburst, please). Unfortunately I'm pretty sure they would think I was weird or preying on children (so incredibly creepy). I'll just steal some of the candy from my parents house. Thanks rents! 


Anyway I digress... what I'm trying to get at is that you can never be too old to have some good ol' fashioned Halloween fun. This weekend I'm hitting up the pumpkin patch and having a carving contest with my friends. Yes, we all fall between the ages of 26-29. Deal with it. We're totes fine with how much fun it's going to be, so you should be too. 


This is the real deal - cash prizes and judges. Yes, Lucc & her friend are the judges, but there will be no favoritism involved. Between the smack talking and the word that power tools are involved for some pumpkins has turned this competition into a ferocious Halloween battle. Clearly this isn't going to be your average pumpkin carving event... no triangle eyes and smiley face with 2 teeth pumpkins. Let's hope the alcohol brings out the best carving capabilities for everyone... and more importantly, let's hope nobody cuts off a finger! (pictures to come!)

take it or leave it: Tim Allen + Pure Michigan= Lizz in love. There is something so spectacular and perfect about the Pure Michigan commercials, both radio and T.V. It just brings a sense of calm over me… and also makes me want to get in my car and head up to Harbor Country, Sleeping Bear Dunes, and Traverse City. This is what I call genius marketing tactics. If you’ve never experienced the sultry sounds of Tim Allen talking about the great state of Michigan I would highly recommend you do so… Pure Michigan

Hairs to you

Hate is a pretty strong word... one that I don't use unless I absolutely mean it. A few things fall into the category of things that I hate.

1. Awful drivers

2. Cheesecake

3. Seeing animals get hurt/killed/die

4. Bugs

5. Hair

#5. Fill me to the brim with hate for numero cinco. I find hair so repulsive, and yet, I sit here typing away with a full head of it. Weird, right? You see, it’s not the hair on people’s heads that grosses me out… it’s the hair that has fallen out of their heads that I despise. Loose hair, particularly loose hair that is on the ground, hanging onto someone’s shirt, on the pillow, wet hair stuck on a shower wall <insert dry heaving sounds>. Wow, this is harder to write than I thought it would be.

It’s a big fucking problem… one that I’m well aware that I have. Call me weird, crazy, whatever you want, but your loose hair that falls onto my floors or is stuck on your shirt really gets the best of me. I immediately lose any attention I had to something and my focus is on your piece of hair and where it’s going to go because I do not want that shit touching me. I don’t even want my own hair touching me.

There are 2 other hair pet peeves I have. 1. When you don’t clean out the hair brush after brushing your hair. Oh. My. Gosh. Talk about grinding my gears… that will do it. Whether it’s my hair brush or someone else’s I cannot stand to see a field of loose hair tangled in a hair brush. Clean that shit out, girl! Pet peeve 2. When I can feel a loose hair on me, but I cannot find it. Nightmare. It’s like a sick joke that my hair is playing on me. Again, I will do nothing until I find that hair. I can assure you that nothing feels quite as good as finding that hair and throwing it away. Sweet, sweet victory.

Needless to say, I could never be a hair dresser. That is quite possibly the worst job anyone could ever make me do. Not sure you could pay me enough. I have to put a mental block on when I go get my hair done to not look down at the floors. It will literally ruin my hour of time when I don’t have to touch my hair and someone else makes it pretty. (God bless Carlos – he is my hair genius) I often wonder if the homes of the hair dressers have hair covered floors. Think about it… they’re walking in that shit all day every day. It’s inevitable, right? Yikes bikes, what an awful thought.

All of this hair talk has me nauseous to the max, but I know someone out there has to be able to relate to this hair hatred… right? I know I’m not the only one. It’s nothing to be proud of, but it is what it is..

take it or leave it: I would like to give a shout out to my Thursday night BFF’s… Snooki, J-woww, Ronnie, Sammi, The Situation, Deena, Pauly D, and Vinny. Now I know you may be rolling your eyes and thinking that I’ve stooped to a new level of lameness, BUT have you ever really watched the show? I had those same thoughts for everyone that I knew who watched it when I thought the show was the worst thing to hit the air since Buffy the Vampire Slayer (just awful). Then through some great convincing and peer pressure I gave into watching one episode and that was it. Done. I’m a fan. Call me a guidette, I don’t care. This show will truly make you feel better about yourself. It’s obviously not a show that makes you think… just sit, watch, laugh at their ridiculousness and enjoy. Seriously, do it.  

FTFW

Today launched a very special week for my best friend, Stacy, and other Tri Delta members across the globe. October 16th through October 22nd is Fat Talk Free Week. They have dedicated an entire week to End Fat Talk as part of their End Fat Talk campaign. Stacy is one of the spokespersons for the End Fat Talk campaign and she's made it her mission to put an end to it.

It's truly an amazing campaign that I know many women are proud to be a part of, including myself. The campaign and everyone involved is committed to promoting healthy self-esteem and positive talk between women. They're encouraging women to be confident in themselves and eliminate any type of conversation with others and with ourselves that creates fat talk.

I could not be more proud of Stacy and all that she is doing to help better the confidence, self-esteem, and overall well-being of girls and women everywhere. End Fat Talk is a great cause and we can all be a part of making the change. Check it out & be a part of the change at endfattalk.org



take it or leave it: I'm not trying to get too serious with this blog, but sometimes it's necessary to lay off the jokes and funny stories and get real. This past weekend there were 2 tragic losses that occurred... not directly in my life, but with friends of mine. Extremely sad and untimely deaths to say the least. Tomorrow (Tuesday) also happens to be the Birthday of my late Aunt Judy. It's surreal to think that at her last Birthday I was visiting her in the hospital and now she's no longer with us. The combination of these 3 events are very real reminders that life is too short. You can never say I love you enough to the ones that mean the most in your life.

"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many." -Unknown

Put that in your pipe & sing it

I wouldn't call myself an open book, but there are many things that I could care less if people know about me... I love the Kardashians, 2 of my favorite movies are Hocus Pocus and Home Alone (yes, I'm like a 9 year old), I hate alone time and would rather be hanging out with friends/family 9 times out of 10, I cannot paint my own nails (literally it's embarrassing), I despise hair - namely loose hair on the ground (vom.com), I don't read books, I'm a freak when it comes to spelling and grammar, and I can't live without Twizzlers (original strawberry twists). That is all common knowledge. If you ever get a Lizz pop quiz and you'll pass now. There is, however, one thing that I don't ever publicize... until now.

I can carry a tune. There, I said it. I can sing a song and not have the mirrors shatter. There's about 5 people who knows this, so consider yourself in the know if you're reading this. In my head, in the shower, my car, and my apartment I like to think I'm Jennifer Nettles, but really that's not even remotely close to the truth. I'm not trying to be Mariah (on fiah) or Beyonce (the Queen B), that is not the goal. I just appreciate not being completely tone deaf. And honestly, if I was tone deaf, it wouldn't be no thang, but you see, there's family history with people who have strong pipes & make a living from it. So basically it would really fucking suck to not have a little bit of that in my genes. TG I lucked out a wee bit on that tip, but that doesn't mean I'm running to audition for American Idol.

While I have envisioned American Idol being my big break I would NEVER, I repeat NEVER, do such a thing. Two words: stage fright. It'll get ya every time. I feel my anxiety swelling just thinking about it. To be honest, I'd rather sing in my car than get rich and famous, so conquering stage fright is not numero uno on my priority list. There is one small singing challenge that has been brought upon me that I have given much consideration to giving into... karaoke. It's one of those, if you do it, I will then do it deals. Keep in mind this deal was made over a year ago and this still hasn't happened.

What will it take, you ask? My thoughts are a lot of wine - not hard liquor cause that will just be a hot mess. Preferably this would go down in a dive bar with townies who would love every note that came out of my mouth, even if I wasn't singing Thunder or Crazy Train. Anyways I'm clearly getting ahead of myself because this isn't going to happen.... unless, of course, I happen to end up in a dive bar with a karaoke machine and a few glasses of vino running through my veins. Never say never, right?!

Note to self, please don't ever ask me to sing. It won't happen.



take it or leave it: I'm sure many of you have seen this already, but I couldn't resist. These little girls were on Ellen today after she saw their Nicki Minaj cover on YouTube. They're from England and their accents really just push me over the edge. This is the cutest/funniest thing I've seen in awhile. I wish this was me when I was little. Ellen Show - Nicki Minaj cover

My personal hell

I commute to work like most people do. Leave my apartment by 6:45am get to the office by 8:30am. Are you doing the math? Ya, that's almost 2 hours. My commute is a little longer than the norm. Not that I'm complaining (or maybe I am), but my commute tends to involve a lot bumper to bumper, slow moving cars, and road rage.

Now, while there can be some benefits to sitting in traffic such as people watching, listening to Eric & Kathy (my morning bffs), and rocking out like I'm the 3rd member of Sugarland, it's truly not the most ideal situation. It's actually beyond frustrating 99% of the time... I get headaches AND I can't sing because there are cars sitting next to mine most likely staring at me. I don't sing in public so the thought of a stranger staring at me in my car while I do lead vocals just isn't going to happen. So, that's when the road rage typically begins. I do not understand how traffic can really be that bad, and yet, it is. Every fucking day. People who drive with me can attest to my outbursts, which I will fully own and admit to, but I will justify my road rage every single time. I have a number of driving/traffic pet peeves... I hope you can relate to at least a few of these... I cannot be alone is this hell.

Traffic pet peeves
1. people who cannot merge onto the expressway OR off to an exit
2. people who sit in the left lane and will not move over even though everyone is trying to pass them
3. people who forget to turn their signal off after switching lanes
4. slow drivers... ones that just decide to leisurely take their time at all times, even when the speed of traffic picks up
5. when I try to pass someone and then they speed up so I can't pass them - drives me bonkers
6. Gaper's delay - for those of you who don't know what that is, it's where there's an accident and all of the other driver's slowly drive by the scene of the accident and GAPE at it going slow. We've all seen accidents, and let's get real, who really wants to see some bad accident? Sickos.

I could go on forever... really, I could, but I'll stop because these peeves make me Grumpystiltskin & I already have a headache from my earlier death drive.

Today I left the office at 4:30, and that combined with it being Monday and a federal holiday got me excited at the idea that I could possibly get to my apartment by 5:45-6:00. I get onto 90E, also known as the Jane Addams when you're way out in bufu, cruise at a steady 75mph for for a few miles and then it's break lights. Naturally, I go right for 780am and wait for "traffic on the 8's" only to hear there's an accident 2 miles ahead of me blocking 2 lanes. This. Is. My. Life. Creeping along we (me and my fellow miserable drivers) finally make it to where this big accident is and there is NOTHING. Literally nothing. Really grinds my gears! Luckily we pick up the pace and get cruising... only to come to a slow halt 8 miles down the expressway. Again. My life. This is what I call the tease. And I fall for it every time like an idiot. Although this tease was a little different. Something huge bright and orange was up ahead... just far enough away for me to not be able to tell what it was. A giant pumpkin, perhaps? But for what? Who drives down 90 with a huge shiny pumpkin on the back... AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME. It had be what I thought it was, what I had been wanting to see sitting in traffic for years, but never getting the opportunity.

It was the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile!!! YES! Finally in person... but a good 100-150 yards ahead of me. I had to catch up somehow. I started second guessing myself if it really was the Wienermobile because I could still only see the back of the wiener. I kept thinking... could this be a mirage? No way, snap out of it lady! I regained my focus and did everything in my power to catch up to it and finally it happened. Face to face with the Wienermobile. It was glorious. And while it didn't get rid of my headache, it did bring a big smile to my face... which for sitting in traffic is all a girl can really ask for. Thank you Oscar Meyer.

Living proof:

take it or leave it: I'd like to give a shout out to my wonderful aunt Suzanne who had her 5 seconds of fame today! Yesterday a woman, a very pregnant woman, ran the Chicago marathon and then went into labor shortly after. She just happened to go to the hospital where my aunt is a mother/baby nurse. This story has been on the news nonstop... featuring the one & only Suzanne Donovan. Do your thang, girl!
Suzanne's 5 seconds of fame

Peak your Pinterest

Raise your hand if you've heard of or are in love with Pinterest. Bueller... Bueller... For those of you who have no idea what this amazeballs website is, I will be happy to fill you in. To be blunt, it's the best fucking thing that's happened to me/my life in a long time. You may be thinking... 'Wow Lizz, really? A website enhances your life that much? Sad life.' My answer: You're not on Pinterest cause you didn't get the invite. That's right friends, it's an invite only website. Does that make me feel special and cooler than you? Slightly, but I can assure you that's not why I'm writing about it.

Pinterest is the bomb.com. Truly no other way to put it. You create an account and then start creating your own Boards and pinning things to your Boards. It links to your facebook account so you're able to follow your friends Pins and Boards that are on Pinterest. There's many categories that you can choose to browse through... some of my faves include fashion, food & drink, travel, and interior design. You basically search through Pins that everyone else has pinned, and from there you can repin onto your Boards. 

Now, if you know me, you know that I pay for convenience - I'm not a DIY, Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker kind of girl. If I can pay for a new ottoman rather than re-upholster one you best believe I'm passing over the plastic to the checkout lady. I'm slowly converting that mentality, all thanks to Pinterest. I've found recipes through Pinterest that I have actually cooked... and everyone liked them! #winning! I also am happy to report that my soon to be amazeballs Halloween costume was found on Pinterest AND it's DIY. Sometimes it's hard to believe this is really me doing all of these things. 

www.pinterest.com. Go there. Now... faster! Wait, finish reading this and then go. You will not regret this. Don't blame me for your new addiction. I don't blame anyone for the 3 hours (no jokes) that I spend on Pinterest everyday. If I've peaked your Pinterest and you're dying to get an invite just ask me... I'll consider sending you an invite to the exclusive one & only Pinterest. It will change your life. Happy Pinning! 

take it or leave it: a fall recommendation for all - don't act like your too old or too cool for this classic flick. You'll thank me later. 

here we go

Come one, come all... it's story time. Let me start with a little background on where this brilliant (I hope) blogging idea came from. To be quite blunt, I'm bored. Bored with myself, bored with the daily grind and routine of work, workout, sleep, repeat. I needed a new hobby, and quite frankly, I think hell would have frozen over if I started doing arts & crafts or sewing. No. Thank you. So, while Words With Friends was a close 2nd to blogging, I thought it'd be more beneficial on many levels to just put it all out there for the world to read and blog it out!

Disclaimer: I swear, a lot. Call me a sailor, just get the fuck over it and read on. Oh, and I like to abbrev, a lot. Yes, abbrev is short for abbreviate. Get used to it.

Today's story: This week was the gift card industry's biggest tradeshow of the year... It just so happens to be in Chicago every year and NGC, my place of work, happens to throw a pretty baller after party one night during the tradeshow week. There's always that fine line where you want to maintain a professional persona in front of your clients and colleagues, and then there's the side of you that has a huge smile on your face because you see the open bar. Well, luckily for me everyone had their open bar smile on. In the midst of taking down cocktails, making small talk, and trying to make my way to the hors d'ourves table, I got drunk. Woopsie.

No one wants to be THAT girl or THAT guy, but as it turns out we were THOSE girls and THOSE guys, colleagues and clients alike. TG (thank god) I was not alone my drunkenness. So the work party ends, we move onto the 2nd bar (that's when things get blurry), oh, and then onto the 3rd bar. Good thing the 3rd bar was open til 4am so we could continue our binge. Somewhere in my right mind I ordered a water while everyone else ordered shots. I never say no to shots so I'm chalking this up to a minor miracle. I also decided that after chugging the h2o I needed a cab pronto tonto. It was 2:40am and I had to be up at 7:00 to be at the tradeshow by 8:30.

I get home, pass out, and wake up in a fog. No jokes, shit was really foggy. My phone is MIA, my blanket is wrapped around me like a tornado ripped through the bed, and I'm sweating. Then my eye catches the time on the cable box. 9:03am. FREAK OUT MODE. The one fucking day I HAD to be somewhere on time (8:30am) and be presentable is the day my drunk ass can't plug my phone (and alarm clock) into be charged. Phone is dead and so am I. No shower, a lot of concealer, an extra spritz of perfume, some h2o, and I was out the door. Speed race Lizz is at the wheel and gets stuck in traffic. Duh! Of course there is traffic. I live in fucking Chicago. Story of my life, literally. It was in the midst of crawling bumper to bumper that I realized I had a 9:30 meeting with one of my largest clients. Yay! I'm going to screw myself out of their business all for a few more cocktails I had to have the night before.

I finally make it to McCormick place, get dizzy going through the parking garage and find a spot. I'm trying to talk myself out of the fact that I'm still quite possibly intoxicated knowing that I have to bring my A game in t-minus 5 minutes and BOOM! Car accident. Seriously not my day. A car accident with my car and the ginormous square parking garage pole. Yep. I know what you're thinking... "who does that?!" Well folks, I'm here to tell you it's me. I do that. I was backing into the spot and literally rammed into the pole. On the bright side, the parking garage did not collapse and no one witnessed my low point. On the not so bright side, my back bumper is really fucked, and now my neck hurts. Why in the hell wouldn't all of that happen to me in the matter of 40 minutes? Does anyone know a good autobody repair shop? :-/ This. Is. My. Life. #firstworldproblems

take it or leave it: (random facts, pictures, quotes, videos that will be at the end of each post, and will likely have no correlation with the above post) This is one of my fave quotes...