My personal hell

I commute to work like most people do. Leave my apartment by 6:45am get to the office by 8:30am. Are you doing the math? Ya, that's almost 2 hours. My commute is a little longer than the norm. Not that I'm complaining (or maybe I am), but my commute tends to involve a lot bumper to bumper, slow moving cars, and road rage.

Now, while there can be some benefits to sitting in traffic such as people watching, listening to Eric & Kathy (my morning bffs), and rocking out like I'm the 3rd member of Sugarland, it's truly not the most ideal situation. It's actually beyond frustrating 99% of the time... I get headaches AND I can't sing because there are cars sitting next to mine most likely staring at me. I don't sing in public so the thought of a stranger staring at me in my car while I do lead vocals just isn't going to happen. So, that's when the road rage typically begins. I do not understand how traffic can really be that bad, and yet, it is. Every fucking day. People who drive with me can attest to my outbursts, which I will fully own and admit to, but I will justify my road rage every single time. I have a number of driving/traffic pet peeves... I hope you can relate to at least a few of these... I cannot be alone is this hell.

Traffic pet peeves
1. people who cannot merge onto the expressway OR off to an exit
2. people who sit in the left lane and will not move over even though everyone is trying to pass them
3. people who forget to turn their signal off after switching lanes
4. slow drivers... ones that just decide to leisurely take their time at all times, even when the speed of traffic picks up
5. when I try to pass someone and then they speed up so I can't pass them - drives me bonkers
6. Gaper's delay - for those of you who don't know what that is, it's where there's an accident and all of the other driver's slowly drive by the scene of the accident and GAPE at it going slow. We've all seen accidents, and let's get real, who really wants to see some bad accident? Sickos.

I could go on forever... really, I could, but I'll stop because these peeves make me Grumpystiltskin & I already have a headache from my earlier death drive.

Today I left the office at 4:30, and that combined with it being Monday and a federal holiday got me excited at the idea that I could possibly get to my apartment by 5:45-6:00. I get onto 90E, also known as the Jane Addams when you're way out in bufu, cruise at a steady 75mph for for a few miles and then it's break lights. Naturally, I go right for 780am and wait for "traffic on the 8's" only to hear there's an accident 2 miles ahead of me blocking 2 lanes. This. Is. My. Life. Creeping along we (me and my fellow miserable drivers) finally make it to where this big accident is and there is NOTHING. Literally nothing. Really grinds my gears! Luckily we pick up the pace and get cruising... only to come to a slow halt 8 miles down the expressway. Again. My life. This is what I call the tease. And I fall for it every time like an idiot. Although this tease was a little different. Something huge bright and orange was up ahead... just far enough away for me to not be able to tell what it was. A giant pumpkin, perhaps? But for what? Who drives down 90 with a huge shiny pumpkin on the back... AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME. It had be what I thought it was, what I had been wanting to see sitting in traffic for years, but never getting the opportunity.

It was the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile!!! YES! Finally in person... but a good 100-150 yards ahead of me. I had to catch up somehow. I started second guessing myself if it really was the Wienermobile because I could still only see the back of the wiener. I kept thinking... could this be a mirage? No way, snap out of it lady! I regained my focus and did everything in my power to catch up to it and finally it happened. Face to face with the Wienermobile. It was glorious. And while it didn't get rid of my headache, it did bring a big smile to my face... which for sitting in traffic is all a girl can really ask for. Thank you Oscar Meyer.

Living proof:

take it or leave it: I'd like to give a shout out to my wonderful aunt Suzanne who had her 5 seconds of fame today! Yesterday a woman, a very pregnant woman, ran the Chicago marathon and then went into labor shortly after. She just happened to go to the hospital where my aunt is a mother/baby nurse. This story has been on the news nonstop... featuring the one & only Suzanne Donovan. Do your thang, girl!
Suzanne's 5 seconds of fame