Hairs to you

Hate is a pretty strong word... one that I don't use unless I absolutely mean it. A few things fall into the category of things that I hate.

1. Awful drivers

2. Cheesecake

3. Seeing animals get hurt/killed/die

4. Bugs

5. Hair

#5. Fill me to the brim with hate for numero cinco. I find hair so repulsive, and yet, I sit here typing away with a full head of it. Weird, right? You see, it’s not the hair on people’s heads that grosses me out… it’s the hair that has fallen out of their heads that I despise. Loose hair, particularly loose hair that is on the ground, hanging onto someone’s shirt, on the pillow, wet hair stuck on a shower wall <insert dry heaving sounds>. Wow, this is harder to write than I thought it would be.

It’s a big fucking problem… one that I’m well aware that I have. Call me weird, crazy, whatever you want, but your loose hair that falls onto my floors or is stuck on your shirt really gets the best of me. I immediately lose any attention I had to something and my focus is on your piece of hair and where it’s going to go because I do not want that shit touching me. I don’t even want my own hair touching me.

There are 2 other hair pet peeves I have. 1. When you don’t clean out the hair brush after brushing your hair. Oh. My. Gosh. Talk about grinding my gears… that will do it. Whether it’s my hair brush or someone else’s I cannot stand to see a field of loose hair tangled in a hair brush. Clean that shit out, girl! Pet peeve 2. When I can feel a loose hair on me, but I cannot find it. Nightmare. It’s like a sick joke that my hair is playing on me. Again, I will do nothing until I find that hair. I can assure you that nothing feels quite as good as finding that hair and throwing it away. Sweet, sweet victory.

Needless to say, I could never be a hair dresser. That is quite possibly the worst job anyone could ever make me do. Not sure you could pay me enough. I have to put a mental block on when I go get my hair done to not look down at the floors. It will literally ruin my hour of time when I don’t have to touch my hair and someone else makes it pretty. (God bless Carlos – he is my hair genius) I often wonder if the homes of the hair dressers have hair covered floors. Think about it… they’re walking in that shit all day every day. It’s inevitable, right? Yikes bikes, what an awful thought.

All of this hair talk has me nauseous to the max, but I know someone out there has to be able to relate to this hair hatred… right? I know I’m not the only one. It’s nothing to be proud of, but it is what it is..

take it or leave it: I would like to give a shout out to my Thursday night BFF’s… Snooki, J-woww, Ronnie, Sammi, The Situation, Deena, Pauly D, and Vinny. Now I know you may be rolling your eyes and thinking that I’ve stooped to a new level of lameness, BUT have you ever really watched the show? I had those same thoughts for everyone that I knew who watched it when I thought the show was the worst thing to hit the air since Buffy the Vampire Slayer (just awful). Then through some great convincing and peer pressure I gave into watching one episode and that was it. Done. I’m a fan. Call me a guidette, I don’t care. This show will truly make you feel better about yourself. It’s obviously not a show that makes you think… just sit, watch, laugh at their ridiculousness and enjoy. Seriously, do it.