here we go

Come one, come all... it's story time. Let me start with a little background on where this brilliant (I hope) blogging idea came from. To be quite blunt, I'm bored. Bored with myself, bored with the daily grind and routine of work, workout, sleep, repeat. I needed a new hobby, and quite frankly, I think hell would have frozen over if I started doing arts & crafts or sewing. No. Thank you. So, while Words With Friends was a close 2nd to blogging, I thought it'd be more beneficial on many levels to just put it all out there for the world to read and blog it out!

Disclaimer: I swear, a lot. Call me a sailor, just get the fuck over it and read on. Oh, and I like to abbrev, a lot. Yes, abbrev is short for abbreviate. Get used to it.

Today's story: This week was the gift card industry's biggest tradeshow of the year... It just so happens to be in Chicago every year and NGC, my place of work, happens to throw a pretty baller after party one night during the tradeshow week. There's always that fine line where you want to maintain a professional persona in front of your clients and colleagues, and then there's the side of you that has a huge smile on your face because you see the open bar. Well, luckily for me everyone had their open bar smile on. In the midst of taking down cocktails, making small talk, and trying to make my way to the hors d'ourves table, I got drunk. Woopsie.

No one wants to be THAT girl or THAT guy, but as it turns out we were THOSE girls and THOSE guys, colleagues and clients alike. TG (thank god) I was not alone my drunkenness. So the work party ends, we move onto the 2nd bar (that's when things get blurry), oh, and then onto the 3rd bar. Good thing the 3rd bar was open til 4am so we could continue our binge. Somewhere in my right mind I ordered a water while everyone else ordered shots. I never say no to shots so I'm chalking this up to a minor miracle. I also decided that after chugging the h2o I needed a cab pronto tonto. It was 2:40am and I had to be up at 7:00 to be at the tradeshow by 8:30.

I get home, pass out, and wake up in a fog. No jokes, shit was really foggy. My phone is MIA, my blanket is wrapped around me like a tornado ripped through the bed, and I'm sweating. Then my eye catches the time on the cable box. 9:03am. FREAK OUT MODE. The one fucking day I HAD to be somewhere on time (8:30am) and be presentable is the day my drunk ass can't plug my phone (and alarm clock) into be charged. Phone is dead and so am I. No shower, a lot of concealer, an extra spritz of perfume, some h2o, and I was out the door. Speed race Lizz is at the wheel and gets stuck in traffic. Duh! Of course there is traffic. I live in fucking Chicago. Story of my life, literally. It was in the midst of crawling bumper to bumper that I realized I had a 9:30 meeting with one of my largest clients. Yay! I'm going to screw myself out of their business all for a few more cocktails I had to have the night before.

I finally make it to McCormick place, get dizzy going through the parking garage and find a spot. I'm trying to talk myself out of the fact that I'm still quite possibly intoxicated knowing that I have to bring my A game in t-minus 5 minutes and BOOM! Car accident. Seriously not my day. A car accident with my car and the ginormous square parking garage pole. Yep. I know what you're thinking... "who does that?!" Well folks, I'm here to tell you it's me. I do that. I was backing into the spot and literally rammed into the pole. On the bright side, the parking garage did not collapse and no one witnessed my low point. On the not so bright side, my back bumper is really fucked, and now my neck hurts. Why in the hell wouldn't all of that happen to me in the matter of 40 minutes? Does anyone know a good autobody repair shop? :-/ This. Is. My. Life. #firstworldproblems

take it or leave it: (random facts, pictures, quotes, videos that will be at the end of each post, and will likely have no correlation with the above post) This is one of my fave quotes...